< Back to overview
Winning communication in words
19.04.2023
Magazine category

Winning communication: How to achieve your goals  

The term "winning" already suggests that communication is capable of achieving goals. It can resolve conflicts , motivate someone to take action, or bring you closer to a very personal goal. But how does winning communication have to be designed so that it is goal-oriented and connects employees, especially in a professional environment?

The challenge of winning communication in the digital age

The new media, including all communication tools such as chat systems and project management systems, have decisively changed communication behavior within many companies. Where colleagues used to stick their heads through the door to get information or pick up the phone, answers are now obtained digitally.

Many companies now work independently of location via cloud systems. Fewer face-to-face meetings take place and communication becomes more casual in this setting. Even if chat saves time in the end, a lot of interpersonal interaction can be lost with this form of communication.

Winning communication - The quality of communication behavior is changing

Everyday communication today is technology-based - if only for the reason that location-independent working and home offices are already part of everyday life in many companies. But when exchanging information by e-mail or via the comment function in the cloud document, interpersonal relationships fall by the wayside. Digitization is changing the culture of conversation.

In order for communication to be or become profitable for all sides, awareness must be created precisely for this. The question must be asked much more often when a short message is sufficient and when it is time for a personal conversation, including facial expressions, gestures and body language. If you can't see, smell, hear and perceive your counterpart, you're missing out on important information.

Argument vs. relationship: How you can really convince

Winning communication occurs when all sides benefit from this exchange. However, this is often equated with persuasion. The person who provides the best arguments reaches his goal the fastest. This happens at all levels - between employees and customers, within the team, and also between managers and employees.

But before a communication goal can be achieved, a relationship must exist. Employee loyalty does not arise primarily from benefits such as more vacation days, a company car, or a ping-pong table in the break room. A company can only really win over its employees if they develop an intrinsic motivation, feel part of the whole and find arguments for themselves based on a personal motivation to get involved and turn down the competitor's offer. The way to winning communication is through an emotional connection.

Winning communication thrives on mutual appreciation

A good keyword at this point is appreciation, which often still does not have a high priority in strongly hierarchical structures.

An example

The classic feedback meeting between boss and employee used to resemble a crisis meeting. An appointment was usually only scheduled when something went wrong. The employee is presented with a list of mistakes - in the worst case together with a warning. Often, these discussions also reached a personal level and were far removed from constructive criticism.

This type of communication is neither winning nor goal-oriented. The employee is demotivated and feels that his commitment is misunderstood. As a result, their morale and productivity suffer. A lose-lose situation for both sides.

Winning communication on all levels through sovereignty and body language

Communication, and also winning communication, lives not only from the spoken word. Posture, facial expressions and gestures also convey important messages. The effect and quality of the conversation are decisively influenced by how the communication partners perceive each other.

"You cannot not communicate." [Paul Watzlawik]

Body language not only influences the perception of your counterpart, but also your own attitude and self-confidence. Body language works both internally and externally - which makes it all the more important for winning communication in the end.

Your body language has a positive effect in communication through the following characteristics:

  • Keep eye contact
  • Quiet movements
  • Smile
  • Upright posture
  • Even breathing

Winning communication - avoiding manipulation techniques

Manipulation is a big term, but one that is frequently used - consciously or unconsciously - in everyday communication. Especially when a certain goal is to be achieved urgently in a conversation, then it is sometimes obvious to confuse manipulation and winning communication with each other.

It is not easy to recognize manipulative conversation at first glance. The manipulation only becomes obvious when the conversation suddenly veers off in a completely new direction or ends up with a result that you yourself did not want. Manipulation techniques are mostly used when a communication partner wants to specifically influence the behavior of his or her interlocutor or when he or she is conducting a result-oriented conversation.

What are typical manipulation techniques in conversation?

People can be manipulated especially in difficult or stressful situations, for example during a salary negotiation, a feedback meeting or in conflict situations. Below you will find three typical manipulation techniques and how you can best recognize them.

  1. Simulating compromises
    Your counterpart wants to achieve a certain goal and sells this to you as a compromise. This can be achieved, for example, by presenting extreme options and making the desired goal seem like the least evil.
  2. Taking elective decisions
    As a manager, you would like to take an employee who does not want to go on business trips due to his family situation on a one-week company trip. On the one hand, you could now communicate in a winning way by making him aware of the necessity of this trip, emphasizing his important role for the company, and at the same time offering him solutions for his private situation. Or you could ask, "Would you rather take the train or the plane for the business trip?" That would be manipulative.
  3. Suggest consequences
    To stay with the previous example, the manager could also encourage the employee who is reluctant to travel to take a business trip by suggesting consequences if he or she does not take the trip. "In the long run, we can't afford to have employees who forgo business trips."

Winning communication or manipulation? That is the difference

Successful manipulation means that an interlocutor has necessarily accepted an agreement or has allowed himself to be persuaded into an agreement. Winning communication, however, is only achieved when the counterpart has permanently changed his inner attitude to the subject of the conversation as a result of the conversation. He or she is now of the opinion that the proposal made was correct and good.

Manipulation techniques have, if at all, only a short-term success. Winning communication is characterized by the fact that it is sustainable and can really move something in the interlocutor.

Winning communication - The 5 steps

It is an incontrovertible fact that communication is changing as a result of new technologies. But progress and personal communication do not necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. In the following, you will find what we consider to be the 5 most important rules with which you can find your way to conscious and goal-oriented communication.

Tip 1: Create and maintain personal relationships

Despite global networking, personal contact still counts for good cooperation. You need to know what makes the other person tick in order to avoid misunderstandings and conflicts. Even if communication gains speed through chats and the like, the personal connection still falls by the wayside. But it's precisely these regular encounters that are needed for winning communication.

Tip 2: Build or strengthen social skills

The concept of social competence is very complex. For communication, this competence is important to build trust and thus pave the way for a successful exchange of arguments. Empathy is important in order to achieve a certain goal.

Active listening is a basic prerequisite for really understanding the other person with his or her attitude and reasoning. During the conversation, you concentrate only on what the other person is saying and expressing with his or her entire body language. Active listening is characterized by the following arguments:

  • Ask questions and signal interest
  • Show agreement by nodding and smiling
  • Have patience during pauses in conversations
  • Focus on the other person (not on your own thoughts)
  • Keep eye contact
  • Avoid distractions

Active listening is one of the most important ways to build interpersonal relationships - between team members, but especially between a manager and an employee. Active listening improves communication, promotes cooperation and can also resolve conflicts in challenging situations.

Tip 3: Choose the right communication medium

If you just need a quick number or a document, it is of course sufficient to follow up briefly by e-mail or chat. Nevertheless, it is crucial to distinguish between "important" and "urgent" even in fast-paced everyday life. Conflicts should be resolved just as little via chat as praise should be expressed about them. Often, a hasty reaction is also responsible for appreciation falling by the wayside. Responding to an employee's special success with a short thank-you email is not very rewarding. Instead, it may be worthwhile to postpone the positive feedback until the next day and the personal encounter. Make time for the "important" things that sometimes aren't necessarily "urgent." A compromise can be, for example, to react briefly to the sense of achievement by e-mail, referring to a personal exchange at a later time.

Tip 4: Stay authentic

Via digital media, something is quickly posted, liked or said that does not correspond 100% to one's own opinion and attitude. But that in turn leads to reduced credibility.

An example

You are a manager in charge of a team and in the morning you presented the company's new strategy to become more sustainable in a meeting. To achieve this, structural changes are to be made - for example, air travel has been eliminated and the company has switched to smaller, more efficient company cars. In the evening, you post impressions of your spontaneously planned weekend air travel marathon on your Facebook profile, which most employees also follow.

Authenticity in communication is a decisive factor for Generation Y and Z in deciding for or against an employer. Managers should be authentic and stand behind the company's values and objectives in a very personal way. Moreover, personal and digital communication should always be synchronized.

Tip 5: Take digital timeouts

Define times that you reserve exclusively for personal contacts. The chat is off, so is the e-mail program, and the smartphone is on mute and in the drawer. These are the times when you can talk to an employee without being disturbed. In this respect, too, managers act as role models - perhaps others will follow suit and more personal contacts will be established for winning communication?

Tips for winning communication in the digital age

  • Undivided attention
    Showing appreciation for another person in a conversation also means giving them moments of undivided attention. Even if an important project is underway, it's not enough to type a quick message when talking to an employee.

  • Perceiving needs
    Winning communication does not work with a crowbar. It is important to perceive the needs of the other person. If he doesn't have the head for the conversation right now because a migraine is bothering him or he doesn't feel well prepared, then it's better to meet again at another time.

  • Specific statements
    Winning communication avoids generalizations. Instead of confronting your counterpart with statements such as "you always do XY", it is more effective to focus on very specific events and incidents.

  • I formulations
    If the conversation is between two people, then more people should not be involved. Formulate I-messages for this and do not push the message onto the colleague who sees it the same way.


  • Perception instead of judgment
    Mindfulness in communication arises from the fact that you perceive something without judging it. This is not easy in practice, but it can be practiced. For example, an employee suggests a new approach to a project. Instead of following an initial impulse and rejecting it outright, take the time for personal reflection and perception.

Winning communication ultimately lives from its sustainability. Instead of persuading or manipulating, it is about convincing a counterpart by building a trusting and empathetic relationship. Winning communication behavior thrives on active listening, honesty, body language, authenticity and the choice of an appropriate communication medium. Above all, winning communication is a learning process for which you can get professional support at any time.

The coaches and trainers of the Stage Academy offer you individual trainings for your personal topics. Book a free consultation or send us an e-mail with your request at contact@stageacademy.de

< Back to overview