They are part ofour everyday professional and private lives and always occur when two or more people meet:Conflicts. To prevent them from escalating, good conflict management is required. This is the only way to deal constructively with the conflicting situation and derive suitable solutions.
Conflict always occurs when different opinions and interests come together that seem irreconcilable. However, as they cannot be avoided, we need to find a way to manage them in a targeted and effective manner in order to minimize the negative effects as much as possible.
True to the motto "Burying your head in the sand does not improve your prospects", successful conflict management pursues the general goal of systematically addressing the causes of conflict.
But...how do we move from conflict to solution?
1st phase:
Someone has to take the initiative: Do you have the feeling that negative tensions are dominating the team? Has the atmosphere changed or is a current problem not being addressed by a colleague? The most important and at the same time most difficult phase in conflict management is the first one. In this phase, one of the parties involved in the conflict must find the courage and proactively seek out the conversation. Avoid postponing the conversation in order to prevent the problem from spreading and hardening throughout the team.
2nd phase:
The conflict discussion begins: After all parties to the conflict have come together, it is important in phase 2 that the initiator of the conversation is allowed to speak freely without being interrupted. The other party to the conflict initially only takes on the role of an active listener who does not justify their own behavior. Only at a later stage does he/she express his/her own view of the situation. If necessary, it makes sense to clarify roles right at the beginning in order to prevent ambiguities and/or misunderstandings.
3rd phase:
Determine the background to the conflict: We now come to the analytical part of the conversation, in which the listener takes on a more active role. The aim is to clarify the context of the tension by asking questions and thus construct an overall picture of the conflict and its background. For example, you could ask when the tension first became noticeable and what the possible reasons for this were.
4th phase:
Expression of wishes and expectations: After the 3rd phase has been completed and the focus has so far only been on the past, from phase 4 onwards we look to the future. The aim here is to express your own wishes and expectations in order to reduce the conflict/tension in the long term. Make sure that the demands are realistic and achievable. Always formulate them from a first-person perspective, for example by using sentences such as "I wish that...". This will create a high level of acceptance from your counterpart.
5th phase:
Look for possible solutions: All parties to the conflict are interested in resolving the conflict? Great! Then in phase 5 you can actively look for suitable solutions that are accepted by everyone. But be careful! Even if you want to bring the matter to a quick end, always consider the feasibility of the proposed solutions. This is the only way to avoid disappointment later on and possibly another conflict!
6th phase:
Find a compromise and cooperate: We have reached the end of the conflict discussion! After the various proposals have been viewed and reflected upon, the solution that has been accepted by all parties is now fixed and recorded. It is important that each of the parties to the conflict leaves the discussion with a good feeling and that the tensions have been successfully resolved!
As many conflicts arise due to misunderstandings, we recommend listening actively and carefully to the other party from the outset. This helps to avoid many tensions at an early stage.
Do you want to follow up on every point or say something back? Try to take the other person's perspective in order to better understand their point of view. Would you have acted in the same way if you were in their shoes?
Ask yourself where you have made mistakes. This is not about finding someone to blame for the situation, but about taking responsibility for your own behavior.
Are you uncomfortable with a situation or decision in the team? Address your concerns/feelings honestly and openly right from the start to avoid conflict later on.
Would you like advice on conflict management and are looking for support? Then get in touch with us.