Non-violent communication - 5 steps to better communication

Behavior and language can - consciously or unconsciously - trigger fear and guilt and become a form of violent communication. Violence begins the moment the speaker doesn't care what their words and gestures trigger in the other person. In this article, we have summarized the most important facts about the concept of non-violent communication as a communication and conflict resolution process.

What is "non-violent communication"?

The concept of violence is often defined far too narrowly in society and only refers to physical altercations. Language and communication as a whole are powerful tools in leadership. They can express a great deal of appreciation, but they can also have the opposite effect and frighten or even manipulate employees. Violence starts with posture. If an employee sits on a chair and the manager stands above them and looks down at them, this has an intimidating and threatening effect.

The concept of non-violent communication was developed by Marshall Rosenberg. He wanted to establish a communication process that leads to more trust, clarity and joy in a conversation and lays the foundation for an appreciative relationship. The concept can be applied to both everyday conflicts and disputes in a professional context. Marshall identifies various communication barriers that need to be avoided for non-violent communication. These include lecturing, ordering, warning, insulting, preaching, threatening, distracting, praising, shaming and judging. The first step on the path to non-violent communication is to know which behavior to avoid.

These 5 tips will help you achieve non-violent communication

1. The right basic attitude
   Non-violent communication can only succeed if you adopt the right basic attitude towards the person you are talking to. Before every conversation, check whether your inner attitude is appreciative and whether you are open to listening to counter-arguments.
2. Active listening
   Active listening means listening attentively to the conversation with genuine interest and supporting and reinforcing your conversation partner with gestures, especially in difficult situations. It often helps to briefly repeat important statements. A nod or a smile can also help if difficult situations arise during the conversation.
3. Avoid blame-shifting phrases
   We often have the impulse to generalize certain behaviours. "You never meet the agreed deadlines!" Is that really the case? Generalizing phrases such as "never, always, everyone" stand in the way of non-violent communication. Instead, refer to a specific situation that your conversation partner can understand.
4. Pay attention to body language
   Non-violent communication starts with body language. It should never be dismissive, derogatory or threatening.
5. Observing instead of evaluating
   There is often only a fine line between observation and evaluation. We often judge a person by their behavior, even though this may have been in a particular context. If an employee is under a lot of personal pressure, this has an impact on their work. In order to avoid the evaluation trap, you should first adopt a purely observational attitude before making any judgments.

Mindfulness in leadership is an important tool that should be established in every manager's daily routine. Non-violent communication is an important basis for communicating with employees on an equal footing and dealing with challenges and conflicts more easily. Our coaches will be happy to support you in this as part of an individual leadership training course .