Active listening for leaders: How to lead an effective conversation

Do you know those people who prefer to listen to themselves rather than others? Managers have learned to lead conversations, take the floor and actively shape the course of the conversation. However, one aspect is always neglected: listening to what the other person has to say. Listening is usually seen as a passive process in which nothing more needs to be done than to take in what is being said and wait. However, active listening is much more than that and requires a great deal of empathy and knowledge of human nature.

What constitutes active listening?

Active listening means not only taking in the words, but also understanding the nuances. What is said consists not only of words, but also of "props" such as the pitch of the voice, the volume, the flow of speech, the intonation, facial expressions and gestures. All of this often reveals much more about the content and purpose of what is being said. What you need in order to recognize these signals is a basic knowledge of human nature.

The aim of active listening is to grasp all facets of what is being said. To do this, it is necessary to put yourself in the other person's shoes, grasp their situation and understand their motivation. Active listening means concentrating 100% on the conversation and not thinking about what could be for dinner tonight. It is precisely this aspect that makes listening an active process. You don't allow yourself to be sprinkled with information and wait until the appointment is over, but instead get fully involved in the situation. Active listening means not doing or thinking about anything else during this time.

Active listening is an underestimated skill for managers

In management training, the focus is placed on topics such as crisis management, employee appraisals and work organization. Listening is seen as a skill that is innate and requires no further training. Everyday life often proves the opposite. Training is required for active listening. But why is active listening actually so difficult? Because our brains work faster than the average speech rate, freeing up capacity in our heads and our thinking capacity. With active listening, the brain has to be specifically trained to work more slowly so that it matches the speed of speech.

Shaping active listening with the 3-step technique

With a little practice, you can become an active listener. The 3-step technique has proven effective.

1. Listening receptively
   Paul Watzlawick famously said: "You cannot not communicate". Active listening does not mean that you are not sending signals to the other person. You can make use of this by mirroring the emotions of the other person. This is particularly helpful in emotionally upsetting situations. You can calm the other person down by breathing consciously and adopting a relaxed posture.
2. Repeat in your own words
   Repeating what has been said in your own words can help to avoid misunderstandings. Phrases such as "Did I understand correctly that..." can make your conversation partner think about their words again and give them the opportunity to correct their course if necessary.
3. Formulate nuances
   In this step, you address the emotional messages of the conversation. You summarize once again how you received the messages and what moods you perceived. This is also an opportunity to address any contradictions between what was said and the nuances you perceived.

By using this technique, you can steer conversations in a positive direction in the future.

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